Shawn Caution

Brb deleting posts off tumblr… …….hateyouremotions.toughguy.

Tue, 07 May 2013 10:47:34 -0400

Brb deleting posts off tumblr…

…….hateyouremotions.toughguy.

Pro.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 17:13:43 -0500

Pro.

These Past Few Months

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 07:32:00 -0500

“In 2005 I locked myself away in my bedroom for around 12 months and wrote a book of poetry that surrounded my life of anguish and hate. I promised myself then that no women would ever change me and no matter how old I become I would never change who I am. I still look back and see myself, a lot has changed from then but I can still see my reflection when I sometimes step back into that bedroom. It does kill me knowing that I don’t know where time went or where it was spent, I was misinformed about life, almost like the birds and the bees. I was never taught calculus because I never cared enough to listen. I don’t understand the proposition of marriage”.

For those who know me, know who I am. I’ve tried to put a lot of habits behind me and some that still stay to haunt me. I believe that these few months that have past has been the worst i’ve ever felt, this feeling that has grown over me seems to never fade but grow worse and not because of anything important. My mind is not focused on anything and I believe its hurting me. I stopped writing for so long and I don’t know why, all these thoughts have overcome my mind and became something real. I feel I’m scared to release to scare people and make some worry. Something I would never wanna do. I stopped smoking and it definitely did the complete opposite of what I wanted it to do. I thought I would feel better, like everyone says. The only thing quitting did was gain this anxiety that I can’t get rid of, that just grows worse. All of my friends have left me back when the parties ended. I sometimes feel fear, not scared of heights kind-of fear, just fear that something is wrong and it’s a horrible feeling that nobody should ever experience, not even myself. So, what did I do…I picked up a cigarette and now I smoke, a few cigarettes a day. Yes, it helps but not completely- I think what i’m experiencing is depression, I often think of things no one should ever think about and those things will never ever happen but it’s just the thought that kills me to even think about. It doesn’t help that my sleep schedule is fucking horrible and when i’m awake, everyone is asleep. I drink a lot of coffee and caffeine definitely is not helping, maybe making me feel more and more like shit but I love it. I have been out of touch with everyone. I know, may be your reading this like “psssh”, I know…my life is perfect, I admit it. How I feel is definitely not perfect and I wish it would go away and I hope venting this after a few months of going without; helps. I even went to the doctors a few times to find out why I feel like shit of course because I eat shitty food and not healthy, the common denominator is acid reflux and that eating shitty and drinking so much alcohol is finally taking a toll on me. So, I was prescribed meds that I refused to take…I believe it’s my lack of sleep. I can’t help but sometimes just tear up and cry about how I feel. I’m very fortunate to not have anything wrong with me and very lucky if that and I may take it for granted and that was a reason I stopped smoking but because of how I started feeling even months later…5-6 months later I couldn’t rid the feeling. I love my life. I love everything and everyone in it, I just hate how I feel. I try to stay as positive as possible and rise above these emotions by having the people in my life, stay there and be there when I need them. This is something I definitely didn’t want to put online or put out there for people to read but some can relate to how I feel. Hopefully this passes.

Alcohol Like Blood. My upcoming book release. Thank you<3

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 02:11:26 -0500

Alcohol Like Blood. My upcoming book release. Thank you<3

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Fri, 14 Sep 2012 04:13:05 -0400

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Sat, 01 Sep 2012 03:10:03 -0400

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Sat, 01 Sep 2012 03:05:38 -0400

Instagram ftw

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 01:18:46 -0400

yeahhh. Instagram is definitely taking over.. I’ll ttyl… I’ll be back, I promise.

Just made this. I can see it going viral.

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:17:10 -0500

Just made this. I can see it going viral.

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Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:57:29 -0500

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Tue, 14 Feb 2012 23:05:18 -0500

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Tue, 14 Feb 2012 21:25:16 -0500

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Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:59:12 -0500

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Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:04:39 -0500

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Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:11:41 -0500

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Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:21:30 -0500

How It Works

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:13:04 -0500

Your life is always the post of something else
present yourself alcohol and watch gravity lift you away from this nightmare
where’s the present proper way to persent yourself?
It’s disgusting how little you try.
I’m expecting peace and harmony,
gossip queens and underage teens
sharing cigs, partying and doing drugs
(you’re not apposed with having fun,
or giving it up easier with every drink you slam down)
clench the world and share yourself with the legal system and STD’s.
You’ll soon realize tomorrow at school your name will be written in everyone’s mind
laughing, poking fun and calling you a whore
just because you wanted to have alittle fun
but is it fun knowing the guy you felt wouldn’t say a word told his boys and
now you’re just a knotch in his belt and he’s just a regret in your mind.
Now watch the news feed, watch the statuses reveal to everyone your business and your reputation sinks like the pit of your stomach that feels like knots unraveling memories of that night, you were on top of the world- now you’re just that girl known as the whore who spreads who legs when alcohol touches her. You were an ego freak and thought you knew how to keep your clothes on, now your bestfriend hates you and you have no one talk too. You swallow your words and cry because that’s all you can do. You never realized that talk can ruin a girls future.
What can you do now?

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Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:05:22 -0500

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Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:16:01 -0500